A month or so ago, I was on my way to the subway station near us to meet a friend, when I saw an old woman, with a walking cane and wearing valenki, trying to cross the street. It was slippery and windy as hell then, so I decided to help her, thinking it'd only be a few meters, but she wrapped her arm around mine and, slowly, very slowly, we walked together for two blocks. She must've felt so grateful she decided to share what she probably thought was an invaluable tip: a birth control trick, not for the faint-hearted. After intercourse, she told me, take a pee into a banochka, a glass can, and then pour some of it inside you; works really well, she said. We also talked about those goddamn drivers who'd drive over you the moment you turn away, and about the corrupt Moscow police who come over to the elderly people's apartments and burn their legs with laser, to intimidate them into re-writing their wills and leaving their apartments to some evil strangers. It was a fun experience, and it's good that my friend was late, too, because otherwise she'd have had to wait for me in the cold for, like, 20 minutes...