I've just sent Mishah these pictures of Marta (and one more) - and suddenly it struck me: I have to write emails to keep in touch with my own husband, again. I mean, he wasn't my husband then, but it's irrelevant. And now I sort of feel it's my duty to send him Marta's pictures - to let him have a tiny fraction of the fun I'm having. This arrangement definitely sucks, but I have to be patient: I'm not going back to Moscow in summer. No way.
Another point I've realized I have to make: I don't want to use Mishah as an excuse for my not replying to emails and not writing here, but I will - because he is part of the reason. Writing to him is the priority, and it's also like keeping a journal, and then there is the Global Voices writing and translations, and then I end up with so many unanswered letters and week-long gaps on this blog...
To all of you who haven't heard back from me but still stop by here for some reason - please please please forgive me! I feel very, very guilty for not writing and can't do anything about it. It's not that I don't want to or have nothing to say. I just can't.
(Whisper: will it possibly get better, now that I've dumped all this guilt out in the open?..)